Victor over the Past - Chapter 4

From: … Nguyen @yahoo.com>
Subject: Nguyen 's Biography
To: thuyhang606@yahoo.com
Date: Wednesday, February 24, 2010, 9:42 AM

Thân tặng TH quyển hồi ký …

" Về chia sẻ kinh nghiệm với bạn bè. TH cứ tự nhiên. Nếu bài học cuả mình có hữu ích được cho đời thì mình nên chia sẻ. Có vậy thì xã hội mới tiến bộ và phát triển được. Những gì mình có thể để lại trên đời này thì mình nên để lại."

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CHAPTER 4

 When I came to the age of ten, my younger brother, Hong Dat, who was nine years old

at that time, became ill. His body weight dropped drastically. He became bony and too weak

to do anything. My mother took him to a local hospital. A few months later, he was

transferred to Saigon to a better equipped facility. He stayed there for another eight months

and was transferred again to one of the most advanced facilities in Vietnam. But soon the

hospital sent him back home, too, because they could not treat him. Out of desperation, my

mother took my brother to a Budhist healer in a clinic close to her parents' home. A few

months later, there was a significant improvement in my brother's health. First he began to

eat more, but at that place, nobody was allowed to eat meat at all. Everything eaten was

strictly vegetables and natural water. About six months after my brother went there, he had

gained almost all of his body weight back, and he was able to walk and regain almost all of

his functions although he was still weak. For my mother, it was a miracle, and she was

thrilled to see the result. For all those years she spent lots of money for my brother's hospital

care, but he got worse. Whereas in the clinic, she did not spend a dime on him, and he got

almost fully recovered. So thrilled with my brother's improvement, my mother asked the

founder of the clinic to bring my brother home for a visit. He agreed reluctantly. But before

he allowed my brother to go, he warned my mother not to let him taste any type of meat. He

said that if my brother did, his condition would become worse, and he did not think that he

could cure my brother at all. My mother agreed, and so my brother was able to come home

and join his family. He stayed with us for about two or three weeks.

 Then my mother took all of us to visit my father. We spent a few days with him in his

bunker. We were able to go outside the bunker to play during day light. When the evening

came, we all had to stay strictly inside my father's bunker because of rockets and gun fire

everywhere around us. My father had to go back outside to his headquarters to direct his

men to fight. It was very hard for us to sleep with all the explosions, gun fire, and

illumination flares around us.

 We all were anxiously and nervously waiting for the return of our father. We embraced

each other trying to laugh and tell jokes to each other to suppress our fears. We feared for

our lives, our father's life, and our mother's life. We were also afraid of the possibility that

the V.C. might capture our father, our mother and us too. We looked at our mother. She

stood at the door of the bunker and silently prayed for my father's safety. We were afraid

that if a rocket happened to land close to the front of the bunker, my mother could get hurt.

So from time to time, we asked our mother to come inside the bunker with us. But she told

us that she wanted to wait for our father. And she said that if we were truly concerned, we

should pray for our father to win the fight. So we did pray together for a few minutes. Then

we started to joke with each other again.

A few hours passed; it seemed like the fight was over. Everything suddenly calmed

down. All the bombing and gun shots went away, and we all went back to sleep while

my mother still stayed up to wait for my father. My father finally showed up about

midnight. The next day, everything was back to normal. And when the night came, the

same situation happened again. We all stayed close together inside while my father went

back outside coordinating his men in the fight while my mother stood at the door

praying for him. When everything calmed down, he returned after we all were fast a

sleep.

 The only time that my father and all of us spent together in a quiet and peaceful

atmosphere was at supper time each day. We really treasured every moment that we had

with our father because very seldom we were able to gather with him. And I knew he felt

the same about us too. He tried to find good food for us and insisted we eat a lot of

protein so our bodies would be able to grow. He insisted that my brother, too, eat meat

because he was still weak. Despite my mother's disagreement , he wanted my brother to

take a bite, and my brother did. The next day, my brother had some fever. The fever kept

coming and going, and my brother could not eat much anymore.

 My mother and all of us had to go back to Can Tho, and then she took my brother

back to the clinic again. This time as soon as the faith healer saw my brother, he told my

mother that my brother did not follow his warning. Now the problem was back and this

time it was too serious for him to do anything. My mother was crying and insisting that

he take my brother back. Finally he did. So my brother continued to stay by himself in

the clinic. But his condition was not improved at all.

 A month went by. My mother asked me to quit school temporarily to stay with my

brother and take care of him. I agreed, so my mother took me there to stay with my

brother who was very happy to see me. I could understand his feeling because he had

lived there in the clinic for months without any friends or relatives at all. I could

understand being lonely. So I determined to make each day a good and pleasant day for

him. Everyday I helped him walk around the clinic; I fed him, bathed him and put him

to bed.

 I had been with my brother about two months. I was at the point that I wanted to be

somewhere by myself to enjoy my time a bit better, so everyday I hoped to see my

mother come by and take me home for a treat. But days went by, and not a familiar

person showed up at the entrance road. Just as I was about to give up hope, my mother's

parents showed up. They told me that they could take me to their plantation for a

weekend treat, and they could stay and take care of my brother for me. My brother

insisted that I stay with him, but I told him that I would only be away for a weekend. My

grandparents assured him that they would bring me back after the weekend. My brother

had no choice but to accept it reluctantly. I was so happy that I could break away for a

few days, so my grandfather took me to the plantation, and left me there with a cook

who lived with them and cooked for them. At the plantation, I enjoyed spending a day

by myself without any supervision and rules, but the next day, I began to feel bored and

lonely, and I started to miss my brother. I was waiting for my grandparents to come back

and return me to the clinic. But I waited and waited, and they did not show up until

lunch time. They told me that Hong Dat had already passed away. They told me that

before my brother died, he kept calling me and asking for me. But they could not come to

pick me up and return me in time. Suddenly, I felt so ashamed and irresponsible. I knew

if I had not left to have fun by myself, I would already have been there when my brother

was calling out for me . I asked my grandparents if they could take me back to the clinic,

so I could see my brother for the last time. They asked me to wait for my parents because

they would come to the clinic next day. So I spent another night at my grandparents'

house. This time it was not a treat to me anymore. I was overwhelmed by guilt and

mournful feelings. I was wandering around the plantation and crying for my brother.

 The next day, my grandparents took me back to the clinic. I ran into the place where

my brother and I used to sleep together. And there I saw my mother and my sisters

gathered around my brother. After greeting my mother and my sisters, I walked up to

see my brother. There he was, a ten-year- old boy who was lying peacefully with his eyes

closed. We were just about to have fun to grow up together when he left me without

saying goodbye. I looked to see if he was still breathing at all. I wishfully thought that I

might be able to detect some faintest breath from him. Soon I realized that it would not

happen as I wished. So I had to accept the fact that my brother was really dead. That was

the first time I ever saw death. And at that moment I wondered if death is how

everybody has to end, then why do people have to work hard and try hard all of their

lives to stay alive? And is there anything for a person after death? I could find no

answer. Then I stood up and looked at my brother for a few more minutes. I knew that

from there on, I would not have a chance to be with him, to play with him, and to joke

with him any more. I remember people said that when someone died, his or her spirit

would float around his body for a few days before the final departure. I hope my

brother's spirit was still somewhere in the room to see me, and he realized that I still love

him. And I hope that he forgave me for not staying with him during his last moment.

Finally, I stepped back outside to see my family. We all stayed in the clinic for two days

to help bury my brother. Then we all went back to Can Tho to live.

 To be continued