Victor over the Past - Chapter 26 to 28

From: … Nguyen @yahoo.com>
Subject: Nguyen 's Biography
To: thuyhang606@yahoo.com
Date: Wednesday, February 24, 2010, 9:42 AM

Thân tặng TH quyển hồi ký …

" Về chia sẻ kinh nghiệm với bạn bè. TH cứ tự nhiên. Nếu bài học cuả mình có hữu ích được cho đời thì mình nên chia sẻ. Có vậy thì xã hội mới tiến bộ và phát triển được. Những gì mình có thể để lại trên đời này thì mình nên để lại."

====

CHAPTER 26

I still communicated with my father through letters. He told me that He was

released because he was so sick and because he had demonstrated a model behavior in the

camp. As soon as he got out of the camp, he went to my grandparents' place to look for his

children. There he learned about the situation. He found out that Thanh-Tuyen was living

with my third uncle in My Tho. He went to My Tho to see her and introduced himself to

her. Thanh-Tuyen later on told me that she did not recognize him at first until he showed

her the picture in which he was holding her when she was an infant. He told her that he

was the man in the picture. Only then she recognized him. My father stayed in My Tho for

a few days then he left Thanh-Tuyen there with my uncle's family because they adopted

her as their daughter. He went back to Saigon and had somebody to make contact with my

older sister. He also tried to make contact with my step mother Aunt Dung. When my

sister came to see him, she brought her husband with her, and she introduced him to my

father. My father instructed her to go to my grandparents' land and stay there. He would

have to remain in Saigon to wait for Aunt Dung's arrival. To show the respect to my father,

Thanh-Tung and her family moved back to Bien Hoa to live. My step mother took my step

brother to Saigon to see my father. Once they reunited, my father decided to stay in Saigon

with my fifth uncle. He also wrote a letter to my grandparents and asked them to give up

the property that my mother bought to Thanh-Tung. My grandparents and my fourth

uncle were very angry about my father's letter. They cursed and made threats to Thanh-

Tung everyday. Thanh-Tung told my father to forget about my mother's land. She told him

that it would be better for her if she could go back to the live with her husband's family.

She could not stand the abuse anymore. My father did not agree. He demanded that she

continue to stay in Bien Hoa. Finally, my sister could not bear it any longer. She and Her

husband moved back to Can Tho. The relationship between my father and my mother's

parents remained unresolved. Not long after that my father found himself in a difficult

situation. He and his own family could not stay with my fifth uncle permanently. He had

to find a way to move out, but he had not found the solution yet. He then began to look for

ways to escape out of Vietnam. He started to wander to many places in Saigon to get a

connection for his trip. Somehow Thanh-Tuyen knew about his intention to leave Vietnam.

She was afraid to lose her father again. She sold her books to buy a ticket to Saigon and

look for my father without consulting my third uncle and his wife. She was only in the

second grade at school then. I did not know this until later when my uncle's wife told me

about Thanh-Tuyen. Fortunately, she found my father and stayed with him.

 My father and his family continued to live in Saigon. Aunt Dung later on bore him

another son. He named the baby Nhan-Quan. As time progressed, he felt more and more

pressure from my mother's side. They wanted him and his family out. He wrote me many

letters and told me not to forget this stigma. I felt sad for him and especially for Thanh-

Tuyen. She had to witness another distress happening to her family again. I felt helpless

because I could not do anything to help them at all except sending them some gifts to ease

their financial burden at the time. I spent all of my savings to buy gifts for my father.

 Almost every month I sent gifts to him, so he could resale them and live on the profits.

From time to time, my father wrote me a letter and told me that he was still proud of me.

He also expressed his thanks to the Joseys and the Phelps for helping me. He also asked

Mrs. Carleen and Mrs. Josey to accept me as one of their children. He then indicated that he

wanted to meet me in America soon. Based on my escape experience and others'

experiences that I learned at the refugee camp, I quickly advised him not to try to escape,

and I told him that I would get him out of Vietnam as soon as I finished my schooling.

During that time, I continued to send gifts to my family.

 As months went by, the school quarter ended. I also finished all the courses needed to

apply for Georgia Tech. Once I finished, Mrs. Josey, who later on is referred as nana Josey

because I think of her as my own mother, helped me to fill out the application and to send

it to Georgia Tech. They accepted me for the fall quarter of 1983. So from spring to the end

of summer , I worked part time as a chemistry lab assistant at South Georgia College. I met

some interesting people during the spring quarter. First, I got to know Antoni Foe, a

student from Indonesia. I met Antoni in a computer science class. We helped each other in

doing homework and projects. Gradually, I got to know the whole group of students from

Indonesia. I got to be very close with Antoni because he was honest, sincere, and a smart

fellow. I even invited Antoni to spend the entire school break with me at the Josey's house.

Then I met Melanie , a nursing student. We got to know each other for a few weeks.

Then one day she invited me to come to visit her family. Ironically, that was the same day I

got the news that my father was put back in prison. My sister wrote me and told me that

my father was riding a bicycle to go to a drug store. He forgot to bring his personal

identification along with him. At that time, there was a threat from Hoa-Hao, a Vietnamese

religious cult. They wanted to retaliate against the local government for banning their

practices. To keep everything under control, the local government set up a lot of check

points in different areas of Saigon. When they asked my father for his identification papers,

he did not have it ready to show them, so they handcuffed my father and put him in the

prison until they could finish their investigation. My sister did not know how long they

would keep my father in the prison this time. Once my father was gone, Aunt Dung took

her two sons and Thanh-Tuyen back to her mother's land to live. As soon as I found out

about my father's situation, I felt that everything I had worked for, everything I had

dreamed of, and every effort I had put in so far was in vain. I felt all torn up inside. My

whole life and everything that I had worked for collapsed that day.

 I knew that I could not be in a cheerful mood at all that day. I wanted to cancel the plan

to visit Melanie, but I did not want to be misunderstood. I asked Antoni to go with me. I

needed Antoni to help me deal with the situation at Melanie's place. Antoni did a fantastic

job of entertaining the family while I tried very hard to swallow my tears and bring an

awkward smile to my face. Even when Melanie brought out the cake that she personally

baked for me, although it was a good cake, I found it difficult to swallow. I knew no matter

how hard I tried, her family detected anyway that something was wrong although they did

not say it. I did not bother to explain it to them because I did not want to depress them

further. Plus, I was not quite sure that they could understand it anyway. After the dinner,

Antoni and I excused ourselves to go back to the Josey's house.

 That night, I went to bed early so nobody could see me crying in the dark. I cried for my

father's fate, and I cried for Thanh-Tuyen's fate too. I felt sad for my stepmother and my

stepbrother. All these years, they had been faithfully waiting for my father, and now they

had to live through it again. I wondered why my father did not have the patience to wait

for me. Every benefit that I had strived for was going down the drain. I felt so helpless. I

wished that a miracle could happen to me, so that I could become rich instantly. Then I

could go home to save my family. But it was only wishful thinking.

As days went by, Melanie and I saw less of each other. Finally, she broke up with

me. Although I felt sad that we broke up, I felt better for her. Through my experience, I had

learned that it would be better to let someone I cared for go if I could not guarantee the

happiness and the well-being for that person. So I went back to join the Indonesian group. I

told myself that I should not date anybody else because I had nothing but a bleak future for

them to look forward to.

 Only a couple of weeks later, I met Julita Chandra, your mother. She was a pretty, sweet,

innocent, and kind hearted person. I met her through Antoni again. I remember I saw her

maybe the year before when I met Antoni, but I never had an opportunity to get close

enough to talk to her. I never thought that the opportunity to know your mother would

come to me at all until I got to know Antoni. Then I met your mother again. A few weeks

later, I asked your mother out for a date. She accepted. And we started to see each other

after that. We went out once or twice during the spring quarter. When the school term was

over, your mother went to Miami to stay with her aunts. I still stayed in Douglas. We

continued to write each other. Your mother said that she could have moved to the

University of Texas with all of her friends, but she did not want to give up the chance of us

seeing each other. She wanted to go to University of North Carolina in Charlotte. After the

school break, your mother moved to the university in Charlotte, North Carolina, and all of

her friends moved to the university in Texas. From there on, your mother and I wrote to

each other very often.

 ====

CHAPTER 27

 When the fall came, I was accepted to Georgia Tech under an electrical engineering

program. I then got in touch with Hai Tran, and he told me that he had found a furnished

apartment for me in Atlanta. That was nice of him to do that because if he had not, I would

have had a much harder time finding a place to live. Once the apartment was found, the

Joseys took me to Atlanta. After we got to Atlanta and found the apartment, the Joseys

made sure I was settled before they went back to Douglas. Before they left, Nana Josey

gave me a check and told me that her church gave it to me so I could buy meals in school. I

did use the check for my meals. I remember the first day that I got to Atlanta. I was in awe

to see the sky scraper buildings and highway systems. They were so beautiful, so strong,

and so magnificent. Being from an undeveloped country, I could never imagine how

powerful human knowledge and how advanced civilization was until I saw the results

with my own eyes.

 Then I realized that in Vietnam I had been at least a hundred years behind life in

America. That meant I had to work very hard to close the educational gap before I could

catch up with life in America. Having seen the fruits of civilization, I promised myself that

I would study very hard so one day I would be able to help contribute to it. Soon after I felt

exhilarated with the glimpse of modern civilization, I went through a sad and puzzled

feeling when I walked past some homeless people on the side walk. The picture of them

lying in the cold, neglected by indifferent pedestrians passing reminded me of myself

when I was in Vietnam. I could feel exactly how those people felt at that moment. I had

slept on the street before. I had listened to people's foot steps, to automotive engines, and

to people's voices on the street before. I had also felt the cold and the dew of the night

before although nothing could compare to the bitter winter cold in America. I wondered

how these people could end up homeless in America. No matter what, I prayed that I

would not have to go through that experience again in the future.

 After a long break from spring to fall, I was ready for the new challenge of the new

school. The first quarter I did very well. I did well because I did not do anything but focus

on my studying only. One thing I found out when I moved to Tech was that everything

around it was very expensive. With all the grant and the loans, and the support from the

church, I barely had just enough to spend on books, room, food, and laundry. There was

nothing left for either transportation or entertainment. There were times girls in my study

groups asked me to go out for movies or dinners. Although I wanted to very much, I

turned them down. I found all the excuses to get away. Most of the time I lied to them that

I had to study for my next class. I had to do it because I had nothing left for me to spend.

Even if I had something extra, I could not spend it for myself because I could not enjoy

anything while in the back of my mind, I knew that my family was still suffering. I guess

those people knew that I lied, but they did not know why I had to lie to them.

 During this time, Aunt Dung wrote me letters and asked me for more support because

she had to take care of her children and my father in prison. At the same time, I got a letter

from my sister Thanh-Tung. She told me that she went to Aunt Dung's place to take Thanh-

Tuyen back with her already. She told me that Thanh-Tuyen was mistreated by my step

mother, and that was why she took Thanh-Tuyen back with her. She too asked for my

support.

On top of trying to survive in a big school and in a big city, I was torn apart by the

family conflict. Somehow I found myself back in a helpless situation again. I was at the

point that I could not help them at all. Yet letters from Vietnam kept coming every other

week. Each one asked for money. Each one tore me apart each time I read it. I could not

reply to their letters because I did not have a remedy for their problems. I began to lose my

focus and concentration on my school work. Gradually, I felt depressed more and more

everytime I thought of my family. Finally, I chose not to reply to any of the letters from

Vietnam. I just pretended that I was dead or vanished for a moment, so that I could hang

on to my education.

Many times I searched for other options for my situation. I kept asking myself

whether I should stop my education and work to be able to help my family or should I

continue to go to school. I had gone so far now that I could not go back anymore. Many

nights, I wandered alone on the campus. I looked around me. Everyone had families and

friends around them, but for me, I was still a loner and a drifter in an unfamiliar land.

Feelings of loneliness overtook my heart. The more I thought of Vietnam, the more I felt

very helpless and lonely. I remembered that not too long ago, I had both of my parents and

the whole family, but now both of my parents were gone, and I was not anywhere near to

my loved ones. Sometimes I starred and dream at the sky, I felt that the clouds still

overshadowed my future. I wanted to find some easy path that I could take, but at that

time it seemed as though none of them could give me a complete solution. Either I stopped

working for my future so that I could take care of my present and my past or I just had to

struggle with my present so I could be in a better position in the future. If I wanted to

resolve the present and the past, I had to quit school, but if I wanted to be able to take care

not only of my family in Vietnam but also my future family, I had to complete my

education. After many sleepless nights, I decided to stop supporting my family in Vietnam,

so I could continue my education; plus even if I gave up school, I would not be sure that I

could meet all the needs that they expressed. It was very hard for me to stop contact with

them, but I had to do it.

Some nights when I was about to go to sleep, the picture of how my father, my

sister, and Thanh Tuyen were suffering still brought back my heart aches. I still cried

silently in the night. Many times I had a dream of going back to Vietnam. In my dream, I

was able to reunite with my sisters and my father. Then in the middle of my happiness, I

was dragged away by the local authority because I had sneaked back into Vietnam

illegally. Overwhelmed with fear and regret, I woke up. I felt disappointed because I was

still far away from my loved ones.

 For the entire quarter, the only things that healed my heart were your mother's letters

and phone calls. She often wrote to me and called me without any demand for my support

or expecting anything from me. She did not mind staying on the phone to cheer me up or

sharing with me her school life. Many times she asked me to come up to her school to visit

her, but I told her that I could not afford the fare. Realizing that I would never be able to

afford to go to see her, she decided to come down to see me. I felt bad for her because she

had to spend her money not only for herself but also for me too. When she came to see me,

she wanted to go out for fun. But because I could not pay for the meals, she ended up

paying for them. I was very uncomfortable, but I could not do any better. I told myself that

I would find the way to make it up to her one day. Your mother spent a weekend with me.

Then she went back to Charlotte for school. After she left, I had to fight with my own

feelings again before I could fully focus on my studying. Soon the first quarter was over,

and everybody prepared for the break.

I went back to Douglas for the break. I wanted to let people in the Northside Baptist

church know that their support for me was not in vain. I found the warmth and the

welcome of everybody from the church during the Christmas and New Year in Douglas.

When the break was over, I went back to Georgia Tech for another quarter.

 Winter quarter was slightly better for me. One of the advantages was that I was more

familiar with things around the campus and the courses this time. I still did very well at

school. Your mother and I still contacted each other by phone almost every two or three

weeks. Everyday I walked through dangerous neighborhoods to school. I always stayed in

the school library until late at night. When I finished my study, I walked back through the

dangerous zone again to my apartment. I still received letters from Vietnam from time to

time, but I did not respond to them at all. There was no point to reply because it just

depressed me even more. Every other weekend, Hai and I walked miles in the winter

weather to get groceries and carried them back to our place for the following weeks. Then

on Sunday, we walked to a Laundromat to do laundry. At the apartment, we still kept on

studying hard everyday. Things seemed smoother for me for the winter quarter. Your

mother came to see me once again in the middle of the quarter. Soon the quarter ended and

I went back to the Josey's place for the break again.

After the break, I came back to Tech for the spring quarter. Spring went by smoothly

for me also. I made good grades for that quarter. Then summer came. I did not go to school

during the summer, so I went back to Douglas and worked as chemistry lab assistant for

South Georgia College again. Summer went by quickly. Then came the Fall. This time, I

had to struggle to live by myself because Hai went to work under the co-op program. I had

to search for an apartment by myself. The cost for an apartment was twice as much this

time as it was before, and the distance from the apartment to school was ten times further

than it was before when I stayed with Hai. Every morning, I caught a bus to school and in

the afternoon, I took a bus back to my place. After six P.M, there was no bus for the route in

the area, so I could not go to the library at night to study. I had to study at home.

 There were times I had to go to the library at night to get materials to prepare for exams.

Because there was no bus on the route for me at night, I had to walk to the school campus

and back. Along the way, I passed through different residential subdivisions. I saw homes

where families were gathering together in their dining rooms and living rooms. Members

of those families were talking, laughing, and sitting around the table under a warm yellow

light. Standing outside in the dark and witnessing such a warm and loving atmosphere, I

wished very much that one day I could build my own family and be able to create that kind

of warm and loving environment in my home. But to be able to do that, I first had to be

able to get a job and gradually save enough money to buy a house. Then and only then, I

would be able to think about having a warm and loving atmosphere in my home. That

brought me back to reality. I just could not stand there and wish or dream about it. I had to

put forth every effort and energy to make it happen, and the very thing that I should do at

that moment was to hurry to the library to study. Then I hastened my footsteps to get to

the library. After I finished my study, I had to walk back to my apartment. I then had to

pass by those houses again. This time every one was fast asleep already. No more lights in

the living rooms. While people were nicely resting, I was still fighting my tiredness to walk

home.

One time, I failed a test in my class. I felt so disgusted at myself for being a failure, and I

felt guilty for letting my father down. Being hit by the frustration and having no one

around to communicate with, I felt totally rejected. My family was not there for me when I

was down. Yet every letter I got from them was asking for more support. It seemed as if

nobody was concerned about my welfare and my being; whereas, I tried my best to care

about them. But I could not blame it on them either because they were in a much worse

situation than I was. I could only blame myself for being unable to overcome the obstacles.

The feeling so overwhelmed me that I broke my hand as I punched into the concrete floor.

My roommate found out and took me to a hospital clinic for bandages. Soon I realized that

I had to learn to live with my own limitations because I was in a much more difficult

situation than I had been in Douglas. In Atlanta, I had to struggle on my own without

help, and it was too late to back out from school. There was only one way left for me; I had

to hang on until I graduated. I had to keep on doing what I had been doing. On top of that

I had to find ways to do things better and more efficiently. Although the quarter was

harder, I was still able to do well at the end.

 When the school break came, I decided to stay in Atlanta and find a job to pay for my

expenses. After, a long and painful process of job hunting, I found a part time job at a gift

store. That job barely helped me to pay for the rent, transportation, and food. About the

same time, your mother decided to come to visit me again for the break. It seemed that visit

was the mark of our steadiness. We spent our Christmas and New Year holidays together.

At that time, I knew there were some boys who had asked your mother out, but she turned

them down even though those boys were much better off than I was. Instead of being with

other fun-filled, spirited friends she had in school, she came down to comfort and to cheer

me up when I was feeling down. From there on I told myself that I would marry her and

do everything in my power to bring her happiness.

====

CHAPTER 28

 As the time progressed, my classes were more difficult and demanding. I had to work

more hours to be able to survive. The amount of time I could study was less. I became

exhausted psychologically, mentally, and emotionally. My grades kept dropping

drastically. I found myself caught in the wicked cycle again. For me to be able to survive in

the big city, I had to work. The more I worked the less I could study. The less I studied the

less chance I could graduate. If I did not graduate, the less chance for me to survive in the

future. I knew I could do better, but I could not afford to spend much time to study at all.

And by the time I had free time, I was physically exhausted already. At that time, I got

another letter from my father. He was released from the prison after 18 months of

investigation. He made contact with Aunt Dung again, and he demanded Thanh-Tung to

bring Thanh-Tuyen back to him. This time he determined to escape out of Vietnam. I sold

my books and used every bit of money I had left to buy gifts to send him one more time. I

also wrote him a letter reminding him to be patient and wait for me to finish schooling

first. He got the gift, but it seemed my words could not change his mind at all. He instead

wrote me another letter and asked me to quit school for a while to concentrate on helping

him and the family. I read his letter and all the sadness overtook my heart. I wondered

why my father did this to me. I wondered whether my father realized the situation I was in

or not. In all my life, I never thought of disobeying my father, but this was the first time I

had to. I had no other choice. I prayed in silence that my father would forgive my

disobedience one day. I prayed that my father would understand that I have gone too far

down the road to turn around. From there on, I did not answer my father's letters again. A

few months later, he wrote me another one and told me that Aunt Dung had left him. She

could not continue to follow him anymore. All he had left was Thanh-Tuyen. He started to

move back to Tra Vinh, the town where he was a mayor before. There he found somebody

to support him. Thanh-Tuyen and he stayed with one family for a few months then moved

to the next family. Eventually, he lived the life that I used to live before I left Vietnam. The

one thing that hurt me the most was that Thanh-Tuyen had to share the price; the price that

she did not deserve. I could not understand why my father put Thanh-Tuyen in such a

situation. The more I thought of it the more painful my heart became. I felt like someone

had ripped my heart apart. I began to lose my breath. I tried hard to gasp for air, but it

seemed to be a bit difficult for me. A few minutes passed, I regained my normal breathing.

Then I was afraid that I would die if I continued to think about my father and his situation.

I told myself that I had to block it out of my mind. I had to live because my family still

needed me. I had to forget my family if I wanted to survive.

As the year went by, your mother graduated. I still had three more quarters left

before I could graduate. Instead of going back home, she decided to live with me. At that

time she decided to let her family know about our relationship. And she told them that we

wanted to get married. I guessed they were surprised to know about us. They had never

met me. Although they never told me, I knew how concerned and how worried they were

for your mother. I knew I would worry for your mother, too, if I were her parents.

 Having received the news, your mother's older sister represented your mother's parents

to contact me. She asked about my background, my current situation, and how we knew

each other. She did not express any objection about our relationship. She also said that her

family would support our decision if we chose to get married. Once your mother and I

knew that there was no objection from her family, we were married in the courthouse.

Then we informed her family about our status. The more they knew about us, the more

they were worried. They knew I did not have a family at all. They were not quite sure what

type of personality and temperament I had. They knew I could barely support myself. So

they sent us airplane tickets to go to Indonesia to have a marriage ceremony with them. We

took the trip to Indonesia in the Summer 1987. When I got there, I was overwhelmed with

the sight. I felt like I was taken back through time before the fall of South Vietnam. The

Indonesian climate and life style was almost exactly like Vietnam. It seemed like I had

found my old familiar feeling. At that point I could not help but wish it was Vietnam, so I

could go and find my sisters and hug them in my arms. But the thoughts quickly

disappeared as I came to your mother's house. I met everybody. They were very nice and

kind-hearted people. No wonder your mother has the same traits. They did their best to

hide their concern and tried to provide a comforting atmosphere for me. They told me that

if I wanted, I could stay in Indonesia, and they would help me to build a good life over

there. I had the chance to go to different places in Indonesia for sight seeing and enjoyment.

I had fun at first, but everywhere I went I saw people working hard all their lives just to be

able to survive. I saw women who left their children with relatives for the whole day and

carried heavy loads on their heads and walked all day and all night trying to make money

so that they could keep their children alive. When they found their customers, they went

through a whole ordeal of bargaining and begging process before they could earn a small

profit. Those pictures reminded me of my older sister and my younger sister. Suddenly,

my heart was aching from the same old wound. Then all my fun was gone. I felt like the

place and the time were totally wrong for me during the time I was there. After a few

weeks , I felt so much hurt for those people that I could not bear it any longer. I wanted to

come back to America. But I had to wait for everybody to gather together for your mother's

wedding ceremony.

 A few weeks passed by; the wedding happened. On the groom's side there was only me

and the rest were the bride's side. In the morning, We went through a tea ceremony

according to the chinese tradition. We were supposed to serve tea to the older members of

the family as a way of asking for their acceptance. They in turn offered us something as a

proof of their approval. Your mother and I had a lot of gifts from her side. But she did not

have anything from my side. In the evening, we invited all the friends and relatives to a

chinese restaurant and treated them to supper as a public announcement and as a means of

sharing our happiness. The wedding went through very smoothly; thanks to your mother's

family. They took care of all of the wedding expenses. After the wedding, Your mother's

family arranged a honeymoon trip for us. We went to Borobudur to visit one of the oldest

temples in the country. We stopped by Surabaya city to visit your mother's relatives. Then

we went to Bali, a popular island for tourists and honeymooners. When the honeymoon

was over, your mother's family insisted that I stay longer, but I had to come back to

complete school. I came back by myself first, and your mother stayed there with her family

for a few more months.

The day I left Indonesia, I promised myself that one day I would go back in a

different situation. I would go back with a well accomplished and self sufficient image not

like the image that I was bringing home. When I got back from the Summer 1987, I tried to

do well in school again, but I found myself totally drained very quickly. I could neither

concentrate on the books nor retain what I read anymore. All those years that I had been

struggling had started to take their toll on me. My performance was poorer and poorer

each day.

Then I got news from my father again. He still wondered why I did not reply to him

for all of these years. He also wondered whether I realized that I was the only hope for him

or not. He told me that he had traveled from town to town to meet people and to find his

way out, and that he had found somebody willing to help him to escape. He had borrowed

a certain amount of money from these people for his escape, and as insurance for their

trust, he left Thanh Tuyen there with his friends and their families. He wrote me and told

me that he would meet me in the U.S. very soon. As soon as I learned the news, I knew that

he really meant it this time. I was very worried for him. I started to count the days passing

by and waited to hear from him. Weeks went by, neither I nor my sisters heard anything

about him anymore. Then I knew he was not as lucky as I was with my escape. I knew he

was killed on the trip. At that point I knew my dream for a family reunion would no longer

come true.

I began to worry for Thanh Tuyen. She was about twelve years old at that time. I did not

know what my father's friends would do to her when they found out that my father no

longer lived to pay back his debt. A month later, I learned that my older sister went to Tra

Vinh and to my father's friends' house. She asked to take Thanh Tuyen back to live with

her. They finally let Thanh-Tuyen go. From there on Thanh Tuyen stayed with my older

sister and her family. Thanh-Tung had three daughters at that time. Her husband and she

still struggled for their lives, but they managed to survive from day to day. I felt a little bit

better to know that Thanh-Tuyen would be safe with my sister, but I was still concerned

about their living conditions. They lived in the place that they had to clear the land and

tame it just to be able to grow some food to eat. Back to the same situation of worrying a lot

but not much of doing, I had to try to keep them out of my mind again.

 To be continued ...
http://moon-ah.blogspot.com/2010/10/victor-over-past-chapter-29-to-31.html